now i see

"Mondays I sleep away,
Tuesdays I lay awake,
Wednesdays.... are the worst.
Thursdays I reminisce
Friday, I see your face and I can't breathe."

every day i feel different.

some days

i feel ok.

some days i force it.

some days,

there's a hole in my chest.

its like a slap in the face every time though.

of corse i know

and i am ready

but i still have to take the blow.

every day i trip in the doorway

like i ran into glass.

i dont understand what happens

but it must be plain on my face

so i just dont look anymore.

and has the world gone mad?

as if we dont notice?

that a rather large piece of the puzzle is missing?

but what can we do?

what would you like us to do?

because of corse we are only in existence to please

you pigs.

but of corse

i am too afraid

and protecting of my pride

to say a word

out loud.

i like to think of myself as a nice girl

i dont want to be mean.

i dont want to feel like i have to.

id rather not turn my skin into armor.

but i cant see why i wouldnt.

too many examples

ive seen..

who gave you this right?

was it us, did we do something to make you think you had permission to be like this?

no, i dont think so.

i dont understand where it got put in your head that chivalry should die.

when it became ok to act with no regard to others

because its best for yourself.

so what should i do?

do things that feel wrong?

act totally indifferent to you?

act totally rude to you?

i suppose i should just be spitting back out whatever you give me.

but then

whats the point at all.

i love being there for you

or at least trying.

i try so hard

to be the best i can for the people in my life.

but it seems.

they just leave me.

but whatever.

i should keep in mind

they were only temporary.

life is only temporary.