it was

just for yesterday.

just for a day.

so sheets back to black

electric charged arms

stolen from the kitchen

with intention to harm.

remember those sticks and stones?

that break yr bones?

words hit much harder

than a father hits his daughter.

i wish you would

and maybe itd pass

because yr additude

it breaks me like glass.

you say to me

"tell me what would make you happy"

you ask me because

"i so deserve to be"

but i cant be good

at least good enough

im a pre mature diamond

still a little rough.

but the big secret

youll never know

i went beyond repair

a long time ago.

and you say i dont have to

when i know that i do

you try to tell me

"nothing matters but you"

but thats not the way it works

if it did i wouldnt be so hurt.

i wouldnt care

that youll never be proud

and id never cry

like a sky full of clouds.

and id never justify

being all fucked

and id never try

to self destruct.

now i dont want to do this

but i think that i should

maybe youd love me

and maybe id feel good.

its worth a shot

cuz i would do anything

to make me feel

like i amounted to something.

i wish i could talk to you

i wish i could get through

because you are the answer

to numbers one and two.

every word

feels like a lie

because ive got better things

to do with my time

im sorry i tried

and im sorry i cant

and im sorry i write

all the stupid rants.

but i doubt you listen

you never do

two more years,

then im through

im through trying

trying for you