and i find i kind of funny i find it kind of sad. the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had

dreams i call them.

and one thing i love

is waiting under the waves

and the pressure

of every one

collapsing down on me.

saltwater is not different from tears

ambitions are no different from fears.

china doll,

watch it fall

1000 pieces on the ground

beauty shattered all around.

my favorite part was always her red lips.

and everything i miss

and everything i smell

smells the same

and everything i see

is to blame.

.....................

i frequently go to that place

i go just incase

it ever escapes me

though i know it never will

every wish youll never fill..

and i dont care about anything now

but one thing

thats just hearing you sing

because you cant leave me

even if you tried

i have every song playing inside

"A lot of hours to occupy, it was easy

When I didn't know you yet
Things I'd have to forget"

..................................

im watching animals kill each other on tv

and wondering what is happening to me

the moment of calm before life escapes

and the look of glory on the lions face.

is that what you think?

how things should be?

is this what you expect?

the world that you see?

how gentile the lion is to his kind

confuses me to no end.

i guess thats just your choice, king

whos neck would you like to wring?

i guess im no lion

just a measly deer

living my life

on strands of fear.

i spend too much time on

wishing i could be a lion

strong and beautiful

instead of just so damsel.

i just want to be her.

in a world where i cant.

i just want to be big

in the life of an ant.

i wish i was inspired

instead of so envious

i wish i was cured

of this stupid illness.

its really a bummer you know?

feeling like you lost something?

well i suppose you dont