i want you to know
that i wrote a hole page
and threw it out
in uncommon rage.
everything i say
makes me wanna puke
and everything i write
reminds me of the truth.
and nothing i could speak
could make me feel better
because the world injects falseness
in every letter.
i dont know how to feel
in this time of uncertainty
i feel like every solution
is layered with complexity
i dont want to feel
any emotion
when they wash over me
like waves of an ocean
with no fair warning
and no reason why
no explanation,
just high and low tide.
i have no right
to be throwing around words
as if they matter
as if theyre unheard
a selfish being
i believe myself to be
because there is really
nothing wrong with me.
they thing that went wrong
is i was given information
the stuff i can use
to make a good explanation.
and try as i might
ill never conceive
that i have the right
the right to believe
that i need something
that others do not
because i should made do
with all that ive got.
i wish i could be worthy
of anything now
i wish i could move ahead
but i dont know how
i wish i could shut up
and just move on
but i feel about as useless
as the kings forgotten pawn.
i dont make sense
and i dont even try
i wish i could do more
than sit and rely
on people who will leave me
as people always do
because people are just people
and what regina says is true.

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