im not doing so well

i have ruined everything.
there is no one left.
and this time around there is nothing i can say
I WANT TO FIX EVERYTHING
what if it wasnt just problems
and now what if its not just a mood
and you have to say HEY something is wrong.
how long does something have to go on for it to be concidered long term?
and can you have breaks in between?
i want to convince myself that it feels good
when you lay and feel pain just washing over
again
and you know clearly
relief is not coming.

but i am wayy too damn guilty this time around
there are somethings in my life that make me feel soooo good
hahahahaa, dont you move an inch.

but some things.
i dont feel sick.
i just feel sad.
i dont even get to have the high anymore.
the power and the danger shooting veins.
now its all eyes.
and i know so much better.

no one is going to call yr name
and no one is going to wake you up!

she said wake yrself up, take yr place in the world
take yr rightful place
i just want to be free

escape,escape,escape

DONT LET SOMEONE PUT YOU IN A BOX

sometimes kate nash really does help




i feel like she would be someone who gets what im trying to say when im going crazy
i feel like we would get mad at each other sometimes though.


its hard trying not to be what people tell you you are.
and trying to be someone people tell you yr not.


itsssssssss hard to feel responsible for my overbearing family
and i feel like they are waiting for me to tell him to get his shit together


I CAN NOT
deal with it anymore.


i am done with this part of my life.
im sorry. i can not save us anymore...


BUT I THINK SHES A BITCH.

YR STUPID

EVERYONES STUPID


LIFE IS STUPID.


YR STUPID.


everything is stupid.










country music doesnt fix everything.


i am unhappy in high school




i wanna work the corners and get addicted to heroin and have get pregnant and clean up my act and move to montreal and go to concordia and life a life that means something and  have a girl and name her gwyneth and make her clothes with my hands and get a job and make enough money to get by and continue shopping at the salvo and eating bread and fruit and hot cocoa and teach gwyneth how to be amazing and let her be free

its awkward when its all gone.

If you cant help it then just leave it alone

yeah, just forget it. its really easy.

its gonna be alright

"i love hot water and i love the way you look in autumn!"

Everyone wants me to ride into the sun
But I ain't going to go down





i dont actually have anything to say.


i need: 
a new scent.
new hair.
you back!








thissucksthissucksthissucksthissucksthissucks
but not enough for it to be a problem
no problem=
no solution=
thissucksthissucksthissucksthissucksthissucks

mark johns/andre jordan type stuff

and now

i feel like the objective of my life is to take handle things gracefully
be tactful
protect
be level headed
be calm
be graceful



                                                                      later on ill cry my stupid eyes out.



like when Jamien begs me to wait there till my mom came in to get me.
"is yauri gonna a come in?"
"just give me a kiss, star of the day. maybe next time."

fearless, boundless, graceful

have taste
have class
TAP DAT ASS

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