but i always fall flat on my face
i feel like ive lost
something you cant replace.
and i feel like im falling
in the hole that was left
when that something was ripped out
ripped out of my chest.
i feel like the fall broke my spine
and i cant move a muscle
i can only decline.
and i cant get out
and i can only scream and shout.
i feel so stupid
looking up at the world
i feel like nothing
but a little girl.
i feel like my poetry sticks
and i vomit it out. its only confirming
what everyone already thinks.
little one, you're pathetic.
little one, youre dumb.
she doesnt know
shes just young.
the secret you dont know
ill let you in on
i always feel like this
and i dont know whats wrong.
my good dreams are bad and my bad ones feel good.
in the bad ones i do
what i never could.
in the good ones
im her
in the world made for me
in the good ones im what
you want me to be.
until they all go sour
my hands grab my neck
take away my air
because its all i have left.
i guess theyre all the same
neither good or bad
just reminds me of myself
which makes me feel sad.
i used to go to sleep with hope
that itd help
now i just hope
ill sleep by myself.
i hope i dont see anyone in my dreams
i hope i dont wake up to the sound of screams.
i want to be better
i know that is true
for for the moment
all i can do
is hope for good weather
and spring to come
all i can do
is greet it with the warmest welcome
because maybe it will be better with the sun in my eyes
maybe it will help by making me blind.
maybe i will see past everything now
through a squinted brow.
and just maybe ill get
to go away
and start everything over
like a brand new day.
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