The Captain seemed to understand

should we put a tax on the thoughts in my head?

this sucks.

this is pretty suckish.

i do still smile though.

i smiled in that dream.

but i was convinced it was real.

just wait, what is it, 9 months?

that makes me feel weird.

nothing will ever be the same.

how come everyones so cool with that

and i cant even grasp it.

you say i will i will

i doubt it.

its not like i dont know,

i dont know how.

i just cant do it.

i cant ever prepare myself for the blows.

theres nothing to do.

theres nothing to feel.

theres nothing thats real.

theres no way to tell.

nothing stays.

but this wont go away.

1234

1234

1234

1234

1234

1234

5678

oh shit.

He can't blow a note unless the bass and guitar is playin' with him.

it doesnt matter.

nothin

nothin

im not sad.

im not confused.

im not angry.

im just

plain.

blank.

empty.

still.

undone.

ive never regretted a move ive made.

ive never seen my life the way it is.

ive never stopped loving myself.

ive never thought id be like this.

ive never thought i would be so different than who i want to be.

never thought this would happen to me.

never thought id do this to myself.

never thought i would feel this way and it would be a bad thing.

never thought i would feel this way.

or that anyone would let me.

never wanted to be left alone.

never needed so much.

never wanted you to come over.

never wanted you to get out.

never been so mad.

never smiled so much.

never been so selfish.

never needed so much.

never needed help.

never not been there.

never fucked this all up.

never felt alone.

or stepped out.

ive never felt so guilty.

ive never felt so cheated.

i still care.