i wish i wrote this

i will never be free

but i will smile.

i will never live here

but i might stay a while.

i will never have faith

but i might pray.

i will never be perfect

but i am ok.

i will never look at you

in the same light.

i will never lose

i will never fight.

i will never know

i will always care

it will always be bittersweet

that you were never there.

i live alone now

in my own sort of way

and i never know what's fake

and what will stay

i have no leads to take

and no signs to read

i have to tears to cry

and no blood to bleed

i have no part to play

and no song to sing

i have nothing to say

and ive lost the ring.

i am happy on my own

minus the feeling

i like the empty

looking up at the ceiling.

i like the fact

that the demons are away

and i dont need you

to keep them at bay.

i dont remember how i was

but i keep it in mind

because i usually feel

like its a matter of time

until i come down

and remember my illness

when the sun is gone

and the world goes to stillness

im always afraid

though thats no way to live

but i want to try

and i want to give

because i am good

whether i like it or not

and ill finish last

its the only choice ive got.

i realize now

that they dont understand

and i realize now

that ill do what i can

to make it easy on you

as i always will.

you drink the water,

ill bay the bill.

dont worry about it

because youve made me so much older

youve torn me down

so i can carry the boulder.

im happy now

making it through

im happy depressed

im happy blue

im happy happy

and im happy glad

im happy tired

and im happy sad.

im happy to be alive

im happy to live

im happy to breathe

and im happy to give

im happy for others

im happy for myself

im happy for pictures

and chocolate to melt

im happy for simplicity

and for self respect

im happy alone

but im happy to connect

im happy to speak

and to look at you

im happy i kept living

right on through.

im happy time passed

and the world kept turning

im happy with myself

and im happy im learning.

im happy for sun

and to go away

im happy to stand

and to be ok.

(my heart is still sad sometimes)

Well, she was precious like a flower

She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can't fence that in
Stupid boy, it's like holding back the wind
she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you've lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did
She never even knew she had a choice and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy, oh, I'm the same old
Same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she's gone

Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please, just let her know
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Baby, yeah, I'm down on my knees
She's never coming back to me