I don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in

It's no problem,
I'll just keep quiet if it's easier for you
To make believe in then
That I don't love you as much as I do

its just a bad day

shadowed by bad dreams.

i cant be the doll

tearing at the seams.

so ill sit in my doll house

and ill play pretend

and ill act like ill never

feel this way again.

though i know tomorrow

is just another day

and i have no protection

and no prayer to pray.

because i get the shit beat out of me

many times a day

and I'm so happy

to know you wont stay.

you were so real

when i saw you this afternoon

and that dream

ended too soon.

because for the first time in weeks

i touched you like i could grab the wind

and i felt everything

bubble up from within.

and i woke up.

and didn't even know

until i got in the car

and i felt so low.

and sank so far.

and i cried on the glass

and forced it to pass

got my needle and thread

and sewed up my lips

bloody from words

bloody from your kiss.

there are so many things

id want you to know

and there are so many things

id never show.

but it doesn't matter

cause I'm a dead china doll

and i could never ever

end it all.

and ill carry the world

as a boulder again

minus the weight

of a best friend.

i never really mattered

what each other said

because as i know

i cant trust my head

to do what's right

and best for me

and i know that i could never

really be free.

because if i screamed out loud

it'd be a mist in the breeze

and i will always want to puke

and be weak at the knees.

and ill always make it worse

than it has to be.

and i will always hate you

i will never be free.